My Struggles with Weight Loss and Bipolar Disorder

Bariatric Progress Log

Just to be clear. The LapBand really didn't work for me or I didn't work for it. Either way I lost than gained back the post lapband weight plus a lot more, but it did teach me that I could survive with smaller portions (ie; less calories) and then, when I thought I had eaten myself near death, I changed my habits and lost the weight  with strong determination. At this point in 2017 I feel as if I went backwards a bit and have recovered my path and I feel stronger and in better shape than ever. I exercise as much as possible; three to five times a week either in the gym or on a mountain.   

July 16, 2017 - Lost weight 280, but then had a bipolar episode and drifted back up to 293. Did hike Mt Democrat 14,148 feet and ready for next this week.
May 31, 2017 - Finally back on the path. Trying to make sure I exercise enough to scare the weight off. Feeling good. Ended the month at 291.4. 
April 20, 2017 - Messed up. 317, but I've been working hard and I am finally losing weight. Today I am 297 and dropping. I would kill to be 270's right now.
December 29, 2016 - I hate when people don't keep up with these pages. I suppose I wanted to report good news, but I gained weight, but I am actively losing the weight again. I am optimistic about 2017. My current weight; the highest since my last entry is 305. I'll get back.
 December 26, 2015 - I guess I will check in more often now as 2016 begins. I am still in the 270's. Stable I suppose which is a first in my life. I can over do it and not let my weight get out of hand. I'm ready to shed more weight. I WILL lose another 20 pounds in 2016. I want to be 250. 
 July 7, 2015 - I've been on a few vacations like Costa Rica and my weight has remained stable. It is time for me to shave weight again. Today 275
March 23, 2015 - Not a lot of change, but my weight did soar up after two psych hospitalizations in late 
January, a panic attack bad enough to be driven to hospital by ambulance, invasive knee surgery, and a week in the hospital two weeks ago for an allergic reaction. In all, my weight after all that remains 273.
January 14, 2015 - I blew it and ate and drank too much over the holidays. On the 1st I weighed around 287. I went on high alert and today I weighed 276.8.
December 9, 2014 - My biggest fear was gaining weight back. This year was really about stabilizing my metabolism and losing weight slowly. 270.0 
October 27, 2014 - Moving slowly, but still losing weight. Still not clear to run, but I have been hiking and walking. Trying to walk 10,000 steps/day. 272.2 lbs
September 18, 2014 - Had the "anterior cervical discectomy and fusion" done as scheduled. On pain pills and still walking, but I gained a bit. 280.0
August 29, 2014 - cervical spine surgery on Sept 11. No news on knee surgery. Finally starting to get back on track. ran open space 21.45 sec. weight 277.
July 16, 2014 - Headaches have become manageable, but no knee surgery yet. Need surgery on my neck now. Frustrating. Goo goo dolls last night. 281.4
July 1, 2014 - Still waiting for knee surgery. On May 5 I had a "panic attack" that left me with a chronic headache/migraine. All being cared for and temporary I'm sure, but disruptive to exercise and weight loss. I am still at 290. This month I will lose at least 10 to 15 pounds. 275 sounds much nicer. Weight 290.2.
June 3, 2014 - I'm going to have knee surgery to remove a cyst that has wrapped around my MCL. No hiking for awhile. Starting to lose weight. 288.
April 19, 2014 - I guess progress is slowed. Weighed 294 this morning, but my workouts have increased to six days a week. Training for a 5K next week and as many 14'ers as I can hike this summer. 14'ers are mountains with a elevation of more than 14,000 feet. I've been practicing on an 11,000 foot peak. 
March 23, 2014 - Starting to make some real progress and feeling optimistic about my slide downwards. Had lapband tightened. Liquid diet. 298.2 today!
March 9, 2014 - My doctor says I'm not losing weight right now because of my extreme workout regimen adding muscle. He said be patient, the weight will start to drop. Good thing because I'm still at 305. I could probable be eating better and less. I'd still like to tip into the 200's for my birthday on the 19th. 
February 28,2014 - Opps. Long time, no log. I went up to 315 by 2-14-14 and worked my way down to 305 today. I'm in the grove again and working out like a mad man. At least 5 hours in the gym each week and either a walk or a run with my dog Thunder. I've worked extremely hard and I can now run around the neighborhood (1.2 miles) in 19.15 minutes. This morning I ran 2.15 miles in 30 minutes in the gym plus 25 floors on the stair master plus free weights. I will still run with the dog later today and tomorrow I will take him for a 2.5 mile hike. I decided to scare the weight off. My weight loss is significant because I lost weight while gaining lots of muscle. I want to be securely under 300 by the 19th of March. My 49th birthday.  
January 13, 2014 - Ah, I haven't really gained weight, but I've been a bit lazy. I'm coming out of it, but I weighed in at 303 this morning. Got to get back into the gym.
December 31, 2013 - The holidays are vicious on diets, but I did pretty good. This morning I weighed 301.4. By tomorrow I'll shake some weight and end the year at my impossible goal of 300 pounds! I'm very happy and more comfortable. I'll admit to relaxing a bit when I knew I had met my goal, but this is a new year and time to buckle down. On December 31, 2014 I will weigh at least 200 pounds. I'll probably need some flabby skin removed that will reduced my weight by another 15 pounds putting me near 180 pounds with is pretty much my goal. I'll have to continue to watch my weight and will probably continue small portions forever. Here's to an awesome 2014! Happy New Year!

December 16, 2013 - HIT 300! I would like to hit 275 by my 49th birthday on March 19, 2014.

December 11, 2013 - Still hanging out at 305. I need to buckle up for the final 5 pounds. I'll make it. I'll be less than 300 by New Years. Awesome!
December 2, 2013 - I've been lazy because I know my goal is 299 by the end of the year. Thanksgiving and leftovers killed me, but I'll be okay. 306.4
November 23, 2013 - Sorry. Big gap. Didn't do well with pneumonia. It lasted a long time and my bipolar kicked in and got me into trouble. This AM 304.8
November 11, 2013 - That was some pretty nasty pneumonia. Yesterday was the first day I felt up to speed. Kind of set me a bit back. 310.4
October 30, 2013 - I was doing well. Even made it to the gym, I felt sick, but it got worse yesterday. Pneumonia. I hope it doesn't hold me down. 306. 
October 23, 2013 - I kept falling back and forth and was spending most of my time around 311, but I got a grip and this morning I scaled in at 307.4
October 11, 2013 - Yesterday was pee pill day so this maybe a pound low, but we're getting there. 309.6
October 5, 2013 - I feel like I could have done better. I used poor judgement at lunchtime. I've got to try harder. Weight today
October 1, 2013 - Maybe I'm a bit bloated. Maybe I was dehydrated on the 29th. Whichever, I scaled in at
313.4 . 299 is right in front of me!
September 29, 2013 - I know it's not the beginning of October but I couldn't wait to post my weight today.
Its 312.4 ! Only 12.4 pounds to leave the 300's !!!
September 20, 2013 - Found out why my knee hurts. Bone on bone 
arthritis. Should get an injection of Synvisc one which will protect and relieve the pain in my knee while allowing me to jog and hike. Weight today 317.6 Seven point six to lose by end of the month. I'll give it my best.
September 15, 2013 - Its been slow going. I think I just got stressed out by bipolar and external issues. My goal is still 310, but today I weighed 320.
September 1, 2013 - Slowing down a bit. Not to happy. My knee is killing me. Can't do gym and barely hiking. Still 322
August 23, 2013 -
Weighed in at 322 . I'll easily make my month goal.
August 19, 2013 - I've been bouncing in the 320's. Yesterday was my lowest post surgery weigh in at 326.8, I could still hit 320 this month. today it is 327.4
August 15, 2013 - I had my 30th class reunion. I guess all the beer and food slowed me down if not backed me up. I've been getting better, but I need to go on a fast track to reach my goal of 320. I may be able to do it, but I would be satisfied with 325. I am now
July 29, 2013 - I have two more days to hit my goal of 330 for July. I might make it. Maybe a couple of pounds over. Today I am
333. August goal 320!
July 13, 2013- I started the month kind of bad. I have a mental health disability hearing on Tuesday. Nervous but back on track.
July 4, 2013 - 341
June 18, 2013 -
June 1, 2013 -
May 1, 2013 -
April 2, 2013 -
March 22, 2013 -
March 1, 2013 - 400.2
February 2013 - no scale because I was too heavy for my home scale at over 400, but I do know that i lost a lot more than 30 pounds in Feb.
January 4, 2013 - Probably somewhere around
450; however, the nursing home registered me at 454, but even that wasn't accurate because their scale doesn't go that high. And that was after the time in the hospital where I basically stopped eating so who knows what my max weight was. I was in the hospital until Jan 15 then in nursing home until Jan 29.
Working off of my calendar from here. I started eating normally and stretched my pouch. Also lost my stepfather and began the longest lasting depressive episode of my life. This is the recorded of my weight recovery; however, I am still, as of September 20th, struggling with my dramatic bipolar mood swings. I used the weight lost in the hospitals as a jumping point of what i hope is my final weight losing trek.
 June 13, 2012
- Well on my way. Had an adjustment yesterday. probably my last because its pretty tight now. HS 345 !
June 2, 2012
- will try to go hiking on Wednesday w/ Nikki and Saturday w/ Cheri. Eatting good portions HS 349.0 
May 30, 2012 - will go to gym and go hiking trying to break the 350 barrier. One day to go before the end of the month. HS 351
May 23, 2012 - Doing better, but it's not easy. Good workout yesterday. Knee a little sore. HS 353 should hit 348 by end of month
May 20, 2012 - Getting easier HS 355. Need to hit the gym more. Update blog . 
May 15, 2012 - back in the groove, but its not easy. Same weight as I was when Jerry died in Sept 2011. Would like to be 313 by August 3rd 100 loss HS 360
May 11, 2012 - doing good HS 363
May 7, 2012 -
I'm living proof that the lap-band is a tool, not the miracle. I probably went as high as 380 before I ended my ascent. It wasn't hard. I just ate like I used to and guess what? I gained weight crazy fast because my body greedily retained as much fat as possible. It's our bodies defense mechanism against famine which is what it thought happened when I started losing so much weight so fast. Maybe I lost the weight too fast. Anyway, I've been back on the diet and the discipline and I scaled in at 365 this morning. I have a long road just to get back to where I was and beyond. So utterly discouraging, but, hopefully, I have learned my lesson.    

March 11, 2012 - yet to scale, but I know that it will be better. I will make 330 or less by buffalo trip. (Didn't do it. Probably flew at 360 plus).
March 7, 2012 - Why so quiet? Bipolar episode went poorly and I ate far too much and too often with no boundaries. Not enough exercise either. HS 352!!! 
January 19, 2012 - Ran 2 miles 28m 13s yesterday and 29m 47s today. Will have completed 10 miles after Friday's workout. Eating good. HS 330
January 17, 2012
- Back injury and knees feel better. Back in gym at least five times a week. 2m in 29min! Had adjustment. Should be ready to roll. HS 332
January 5, 2012
- Holidays have taken their toll, but I am on my way back and should erase the fudge and cookies soon. Returned to gym. HS 335
December 22, 2011
- Knees are better. Mystery back/torso spasms. No trauma involved. Back on pain pills and muscle relaxants. HS 337  
December 15, 2011- Aggravated left MCL. Right knee feeling better. Headed to the gym now. Baking xmas cookies has taken its toll. HS 333  
December 8, 2011- Great workout Tues/Wed. New record for speed walking 2 miles in exactly 31 minutes. New band aperture feels good. HS 330 
December 6, 2011- Had an additional 3/4 cc added to the band today. Feels fine. Surgeon's scale shows 80 pounds lost. Home scale 79 pounds. HS 331
December 2, 2011 - This month's blood test showed better liver and kidney functions; however, tonight's spleen pain is almost unbearable. HS 332
November 25, 2011 - After trip and Thanksgiving holiday. Bloated; however, still on track towards 310 for New Years. HS (Home Scale) 334  
November 21, 2011 - Departure morning to NYC flight to NYC Paul Sharits Opening at Greene Naftali. HS 333 
November 19, 2011- Eating well. Forgot to post Thursday so here's Saturday HS 335
November 15, 2011 - Fried an egg w/hash browns, a deli slice of ham and some cheese. Strict measured 1/4 cup x 3 meals. HS 337.4
November 10, 2011 - Good diet yesterday. Did take water pills yesterday so I'm not so bloated today. Planning on going to the gym later. HS 341.2
November 8, 2011- The additional 1 cc of saline is helping quite a bit. Last week I damaged my right knee. It's better, but I can't run. HS 345.
November 3, 2011- Halloween is not my friend. Ate too much candy. Very constipated. Received  a 1cc port injection yesterday. Total either 5 or 6cc HS 347
October 28, 2011- Missed Thursday weigh in. Walk/ran 2 miles on the gym treadmill in 31mins 20seconds. Ate well. Shouldn't have had peanuts. HS 347
October 24, 2011 - Sorry. Rough month. Jerry past on. I'm just now getting back on track, however, I see that I haven't done that bad. HS 350
September 26, 2011- Had to turn around and go back to Arkansas. Jerry had more strokes, but, on this date, he is still fighting. Ate like crap HS 367.
September 18, 2011 - Just returned from Little Rock Arkansas. My father-in -law had a stroke. We ate like crap. I won't even step on a scale until at least Tues.
September 8, 2011 - Not sure what happened. I'm on a bipolar low and I haven't been able to hit the trails as hard gym closed this week, HS 360.8
September 3, 2011 - One month. New measurements- neck 21"(no change), waist 54"(-8), bicep 21"(nc), thigh 30"(nc), BMI 53.3(-7.68) HS 361.4
August 31, 2011 - Read today's post on my blog on why I think I have been so outrageously successful. 45 pounds! HS 364.8  
August 26, 2011 - Continuing my hard driven quest. Will most likely make 43 pounds by the end of the month. Need to watch bloating still HS 371.0
August 23, 2011 - Working my ass off (literally) at the gym and hiking in the mountains. Never skipped a meal, but never deviated from the rules. HS 374.0
August 20, 2011- I hit a weight loss wall and got angry. Worked out like a mad man and followed my instructions to a "T." Comp WL 30 # HS 380
August 16, 2011 - Been hitting the gym like I was on the biggest loser. Today I had an egg for break and a 1/3 of a hot link and now 2 oz chicken. HS 382.
August 12, 2011 - First post-op office visit. Exactly 14 days since pre-op appointment. 24 official pounds lost! Healing well. Had port injections early. HS 386.
August 10, 2011- Worked out in the gym for one hour yesterday and tried some more soft foods. Home scale 388.4.
August 9, 2011-
Antibiotics are making me feel a little blah. I'll try some pureed soup today. Waiting for Friday's doctors weigh in. Home scale 391.
August 8, 2011
- Still on a liquid diet. I'm supposed to be on a soft diet like oatmeal or puree, so I'll try easing into it. I still don't feel any appliance obstruction unless I try to drink cold liquid too fast. Infection is gone. Home scale this morning
393.6 pounds.
August 6, 2011- Trying to restrict these entries to one line. For details, check the blog. Yesterday I walked around the county fair with no problems; even when I passed the fried twinkies. One of my incisions felt warm this morning so I am going to the pharmacy to pick up some antibiotics. Scale said 397.
August 5, 2011 - I felt a little more sore yesterday evening, but not horrible. Maybe a 7 out of 10. When I was at the surgeon's office last Friday before my surgery or pre-surgical diet restrictions, I weighed in at 413. Today on my home scale I established a baseline of 400 pounds.
August 4, 2011 - I feel pretty good. The oxycodon is doing its job. It is hard to do anything requiring my stomach muscles, but I am still up walking around and walking up stairs. Last night I took a walk down the block and today I will walk around the block. I've been on liquids for three days so I'm sure my weight has changed, but my scale only goes up to 400 pounds. The incisions are tender and now very bruised. I can feel the band when I swallow cold liquids, but I am just sipping so I have not experienced the pain of backing up.
* August 3, 2011 -  I did it !!! Surgery started at 7:30am prompt and I was in the recovery room until they discharged me around 1:00pm. I am writing this from my home computer. It hurts a bit, but not nearly as much as you would think. You can see a video of me in the recovery room on this day on my blog.
August 2, 2011- Day before surgery: Measurements from pre-op at Dr. Tillquist's office on July 29, 2011: weight ~ 413 pounds; neck 21"; waist 62"; bicep 21"; thigh 30" BMI = 60.98. Feeling pretty good. More excited than scared. On a pre-surgical liquid diet. I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight. I need to be at the hospital by 5am for a 7:30 surgery. I should be home by mid afternoon. 

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