My Struggles with Weight Loss and Bipolar Disorder

Obesity is the leading preventable cause of death worldwide. Globally, there are at least 300 million obese adults. Obesity, morbid obesity, and super morbid obesity has been linked to diabetes, heart disease, hypertension and stroke, premature arthritis and certain forms of cancer. I started to have trouble with yo-yo dieting when I was in my early 20's. There is a couple of misconceptions I'd like to address. First, most overweight and obese people don't like being fat and they don't pig out all the time. Sure, some people eat unhealthy and drink a bunch of sugary drinks all day or drink too much beer, but you only really need to consistently eat 5% to 10% or more than you should with every meal to become obese. Of course many have also lost control and hope and eat poorly and get little to no exercise. I feel sad for them. I sucks to be uncomfortable in your own body.

At one point in November 2007, the hospital weighed me at 456. I lost weight and made it all the way down to 340 or so and then gained weight and decided to get the Lapband "installed" on August 3, 2011. I weighed 413 pounds. I worked hard and made it down to 332. I relied on the lapband to do the work for me and it didn't and I gained weight rapidly. Somehow, by January 3rd, 2013, I weighed 429 or 430 pounds. I simply decided to stop the madness and go into small portion control of about 1/2 cup of whatever per meal and exercise. I eat and drink what I want, but just a little bit of it so I don't get cravings. Without relying on the lapband, which did not work for me, I just decided I was going to lose 10 to 15 pounds per month. By the end of 2013 I weighed 300 pounds. In 2014 I was most concerned with metabolism stability and only lost an additional 30 pounds by December 2014. Then I started to blow it again during the 2014 holidays. I thought I may gain a few pounds and that was okay. I could shed them after the holidays. Well, my metabolism didn't like it and my body quickly grew to 387 by the 1st of January 2015. I went into hyper mode and today, January 14, 2015, I weigh 376 pounds. Eleven pounds in 14 days. I will continue and reach the 269 mark by the end of the month and try to lose an additional 40 to 50 pounds in 2015. I am jogging 8 miles minimum per week and working out my upper body at least 3 times a week and severely cutting my portions again. On the days that I don't jog, I at least walk the dog for an hour or so and hike in the mountains with ice spikes when it's not below 20 degrees F.    

Losing weight is hard for everyone, but it's particularly hard for a Bipolar person as almost each of my medications have the side effect of weight gain. When I first complained to my psychologist about the weight gain, she said a fat patient was easier to treat than a dead patient. Nonetheless, I am winning the war and feeling great. 

My ultimate dream goal used to be 200, but now it's less and fairly fluid as I change my mind all the time. I think I have the bone and muscle structure that would make me look sickly if I were, say, 160 pounds. Maybe I should aim for 190 pounds. Yeah, I like the sound of that and if it takes a few more years, that's okay because I know I'm healthier now than I have been in decades. 

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